Tired

April 30th, 2006

I’m tired of waiting

Therefore, I shall wait no more.

Yea, He said, "I will, don’t worry…" with that carefree yet ironic grin of his.

Months passed by…

Nothing came I can’t do this anymore!

Waiting for someone that isn’t even there.

It had never been there in the first place.

How can I be so stupid?! So naive. . .

Dense even!

He will never come to me Never.

He doesn’t want me at all.

He never has.

And now, I’ve lost all hope

I’ve lost my will to love again

My confidence to admire

My voice…

My soul has been wringed out from my aching body

My hopes to dream

All is lost

- Hoshi

02-08-05

Bittersweet

April 30th, 2006
Slowly the pen touched paper in the guidance of the words that you write
memories roll in of the things you once did
and who you had shared them with somebody thinking of you
did I bother telling you this with the words that cross teeth and jump lips
a poor choice of words in wanting to tell you anything
but words don’t come with ease they’re forever my hurt
would It really matter if you were to count the days left with your hands
your focus secure and the loves you left well
smiles staged in photographs here until
you left the light on
theres a chance I might have tripped girl
you were there to hold on
ignoring the words of your obnoxious little brother
kill or be killed spilled the words from your mother
I’ll lay awake for a while
I’ll leave the light on a while
you couldn’t last a lifetime caught between here and the days of it
carving her name across your arm with every wish its hit or miss her
I told you so I measure distance in lines departing the rest of my lyf

This Moment

April 30th, 2006

Bare feet, on the cold fallen snow
Hair blowing in the furious wind
You’re waiting, watching me
We shouldn’t be here right now

Your walking closer but I’m staying
Staying behind these protecting walls
I wont look you in the eye, not this time
I wont let you see into my soul

How is it, you can make me feel so excited?
But so afraid at the same time?
I’m feeling nervous, knowing your going to touch me
Knowing I’m going to fall into you

I feel exposed, my body bare
The cold air attacking my flesh
I fall weak into your arms
Once again, I feel the warmth from you

We shouldn’t be here right now!
Too much fire will burn our skin
Touch much pain will injure our hearts
This moment wont last forever

Things will turn dark, like the night
And tears will fall like the rain
Our hearts will become cold
Just like the snow around us

We’re going to fall
So much further than every before
But maybe, just for this moment
We can pretend

We can pretend we’re allowed to do this
Allowed to be here, to touch
Maybe for a moment
All our worries will just disappear

We can stay like this for a while
Me in your arms, you holding me close
And everything, everything will be ok
For this moment.. And this moment only

We can be… in love